We’re all nerds!

That’s right! Nerds! No matter how cool we think we are, it takes nerdiness to keep up that cool. No one wants to be a nerd but in order to be the best at anything you have to be. Lets go through examples.

Rappers – These are “street” poets. They carry around notebooks and think of rhymes. No real gangster has time for limericks. You ever hear a real muh’f*cka think of a metaphor. An analogy? You think drug lords are writing dis songs to each other? Man, child stars are rapping now! There’s rappers out right now that were in montages about getting ready for prom.

Professional athletes – Being great at sports is pretty cool… until the rest of the world gets involved. You have all these grown men talking about your skills and your performance. Grown men pretend to put together a fantasy team and they debate about you. Then you have all these rules and penalties. Man, you can’t even tweet a picture of your girlfriend’s ass if you’re a pro athlete. Now, basketball players are wearing glasses and sweater vests. Adults cry over a game. No matter how bad I lost at Scrabble, I never was reduced to tears. One game I only had consonants. I spelled cry and that was it. Sports are officially nerdy.

Girls – Women love to go clubbing. They put on makeup, dresses that don’t fit and shoes that hurt. Then they get together and give each other fake names and backgrounds. Then they go out to see how many free drinks they can get. You know what that sounds like… LARPING except with a little more vomiting.

Truckers – You ever try to talk to a trucker. Very quiet guys. Not because they’re tough but because the road is pretty empty with not a lot going on. Just a bunch of social outcasts. NERDS!

Potheads – C’mon! Everything they do is borderline boring and mundane. Potheads just want to smoke, sit and reflect on… pot.

If you are passionate about anything in life, you just have to be a nerd of that passion. You have to be consumed by it. You have to pick it apart and put it back together again. You sometimes even have to learn to speak in code with other people with the same interest. To be human is to have interests in anything other than survival. The only way to avoid being a nerd is to be completely detached from any interests. Animals are cool which makes sloths the coolest thing on Earth. From what I know, they don’t give a shit and that’s how you become cool.

« « The Real End of the World! | Drake and Chris Brown Fight! » »

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *