How I learned not to be a creep

It took a major crush who was also a best friend. I was “in love” with her. I can’t really tell you why I crushed on her so hard. She was beautiful, didn’t have lame conversations, laughed at my silliness. But that’s also what made her an even more important friend. Yes, I crushed on […]

The Love Letter I Should Have Sent

My favorite part of it all was making you laugh. It’s crazy to think that it all started when we caught each other’s eye. Maybe it was a quick “well, will you look at that”. A brief moment of pure wonder since not a word had been spoken yet. Not any idea of the cadence […]

Love with a Comedian or How Comedy Ruined My Loved Life

Victoria, TX – 2006 In the meet and greet line after the show, an attractive woman walks up to me and whispers, “If I wasn’t married, I’d fuck you.” Yup. And I was only in my first year of comedy. Sounds like a big compliment, right? Actually there is an unwritten road gig theory on […]

The Bitter Years

After a hometown show, I asked a friend I’ve known since high school what she remembered about me in my teen years. My memories tend to be in snapshots instead of full memories so I lose details of my life almost instantly. She told me, while laughing, “You were always so bitter with girls.” That’s […]

What does a girl look for in a man?

For centuries, man has asked one question over and over again. “What does a girl look for in a man?” I was listening to the radio where the DJs were having a “selfie contest” between two chicks. Listeners were encouraged to vote on who they think took the best selfie. The girls called in and […]